How to Deal with Emptiness

Feeling empty inside is nothing new to the human existence. Everyone goes through it at some point. It even happened to the motivational speaker Tony Robbins. You don’t get a pass on feeling empty. You don’t get a pass on feeling like there’s nothing in your life.

Yes, I know, that might seem depressing. I mean, who really wants to feel like their life is empty or meaningless? Yet while everyone continues to search to fill the void, they’re missing one important concept.

It’s Not About Filling a Void – It’s About Creation

What do artists do with a blank canvas? What would a music composer do with an empty score page? What does a writer do with a blank piece of paper? What does a developer do with an empty lot? The artist creates a work. The music composer creates a score. The writer creates a piece of literature or an article. The developer creates a shopping center, a house, a public park, or something similar.

When there’s an empty space, it’s not about filling a void. It’s about creation. When you have an emptiness in your life…when you feel like there’s nothing in your life, there’s potential. There’s a potential to create. You have the power (not the ability, the power) to create anything you want out of your life.

“But I’m Broken”

Aren’t we all in some way? Every person on this planet has felt (at least at one time) that they didn’t measure up in some way. Sometimes, it’s through no fault of their own. Remember Jesus? Even if you’re not a Christian – just consider his story. He went around trying to teach people to be good to each other…telling people not to be judgmental twat-waffles. Just in general, he tried to be a good dude, right? And what happened? Not only did he get the shit beat out of him, they elected to free a thief and killed Jesus in his place. Moral of the story? No good deed ever goes unpunished. You aren’t the first person to be treated like shit for no reason and you won’t be the last. People have great capacity to be jerks.

Then, of course, we have unrealistic standards put before us by every avenue of media. For women (because that’s all I can speak for in my own body), it’s “buy these products and be more amazing! Have it all! Be wonder mom, super wife, and the power executive! And if you can’t? There’s something wrong with you, obviously. It can’t be that the standards society created. Noooo… Be a sex kitten…oh you like sex? You’re a whore!”

I have sons. I’ve watched the mindset of “Crying is for girls. Don’t be a girl. Be stronger, better, faster or else you suck. Be nice to women to get what you want – oh, you’re being nice because you’re a nice guy? You’re a sucker!” And then they meet a significant other who may appreciate their masculine qualities, but they want someone empathetic. I’m not a man, but I can empathize with the confusing messages sent to them.

Again, people are jerks. We all see and hear the same messages. We’re all affected by them (at one time or another). That’s why it’s important to realize that you still have power.

Think about the town or city you live in. If you live out in the country, think about the city closest to you. If I asked you to show me a picture of a business or neighborhood that was once run down that is now revitalized, which would you show me? I live in Oklahoma City and we have several neighborhoods (and commercial districts) being renovated. Sometimes those buildings or homes are renovated on the inside and the outside. Sometimes the damage is so bad that they drop the building to the foundation and start over.

You have the same option. If you just have one or two things in your life that seem to invade your thoughts and hold you  back, you can work on those things. Just like renovating a building isn’t easy, renovating your life won’t necessarily be a cakewalk either, but it can be done. The question is: can you handle the hard work or are you a quitter? Will you decide to live your life the way you want or will you allow a society of jerks to determine your place?

If you don’t like your life at all, you’re free to examine every aspect and rebuild from your foundation. You do not have to live up to hurtful or dangerous self-fulfilling prophecies or shit other people said. I didn’t turn out to be a drug addict. I didn’t turn out to be a child abuser. I didn’t become a perpetual victim. I went down to the foundation of my life and rebuilt it. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Yes.

Your Life Is Ultimately Your Decision

How you decide to live your life and whether it is peaceful and what you want it to be is ultimately up to you. It’s your decision. It’s your job to build on your life every day. It’s your job to say no to things that aren’t good for you. It’s your job to say yes to things you want or need. It’s your job to work hard to get what you want. It’s your job to create your life. Don’t give that power away to anyone else. Ever.

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